40 Ways to annoy Jacob Black

by ~I-luv-Edward-Cullen

I-luv-Edward-Cullen’s guide to ANNOYING JACOB BLACK. [Because we all hate him :) ]






1. Force him to wear a leash and collar and tie him to a pole.
2. Put up fliers saying "Lost Dog" with his picture on it.
3. Give him mouthwash for his birthday. Tell him he has dog breath.
4. Constantly remind him that Bella would rather ‘die’ then be with him.
5. Throw silver spoons at him. (It’s a werewolf pun XD)
6. When he’s a werewolf steal his pants.
7. Paint his motor bike hot pink.
8. Buy him a cat.
9. Name it Edward.
10. Buy him dog food. Act offended when he won’t eat it.
11. Ask him what he’s getting Edward and Bella for a wedding present.
12. Tell him Bella is allergic to dogs.
13. Ask him how he lost to an old man.
14. Call the dog pound on him when he fazes
15. Lock him in a room with Edward
16. Post the results on YouTube
17. Tell him that Aro and Bella are eloping in Mexico and he’s not invited.
18. Tell him he’s not a REAL werewolf, he’s just a shapes shifting loser. (Breaking Dawn reference)
19. Ask him about puberty.
20. Force him to watch Shark boy and Lava girl
21. Ask him if he thinks Taylor Lautner looks hot in a tight leather suit (Shark boy and Lava girl Reference)
22. Tell him he’s Remus Lupin and Sirius Black’s crack child.
23. When he doesn’t believe you, ask him why his last name is BLACK, and he’s a WEREWOLF.
24. Post the reactions online when he puts the pieces together.
25. Every time he does something nice say, 'Good boy!'
26. Show him the honeymoon scene in Breaking Dawn.
27. Post his reaction on YouTube.
28. Tell him to sit and wave a dog biscuit in his face.
29. Buy him a dog bed for his birthday
30. Ask him if he’ll be your ‘guard dog’. (Breaking Dawn Reference)
31. Show him Edward/Bella fan art, particularly ‘PG-13 – NC17’ Rated things
32. Start an ‘Edward dazzles me’ fan club and elect him as president.
33. Force him to attend the meetings, every week.
34. Ask him if he actually drinks out of the toilet
35. Refuse to believe him when he says no.
36. Ask him if Edward dazzles him.
37. When he says no, use his (ANNOYING) catch phrase. “Sure, Sure.” Just to piss him off.
38. Ask him if he knows the only thing worse than imprinting on a two year old. When he asks, tell him ‘imprinting on a two day  old girl, that just so happens to be your arch enemy’s vampire/human child’. (Breaking dawn SPOILER.)
39. While he’s sleeping put ketchup packets all around his bed, making it impossible to get out of bed.
40. Laugh at him when he tries anyway.

Disclaimers:

I am not responsible for any,
Ripping/shredding/tearing/beating/bruising/bleeding/general destruction of you or your property.

I can only guarantee that you will ANNOY THE SHIT OUT OF JACOB.
^^ Have fun!